See ya later, 2009

Scroll down and hit play first. . . you know how I do it. 

You know, around the time of New Years, there's always that picture of the old man leaving and the new baby coming in to replace him, signifying the changing of the year. Well, if that old man were real, I'd trip him as he crossed the street and push him into oncoming traffic.

2009 was a rough year full of lots of changes, some good, some bad. Here for your reading pleasure are the highlights.

• If you grew up on the S. Block (our lovely home street in Akron), it was not a good year to be your dad. Two of them passed away, one was treated for cancer and still one more was shot in an attempted robbery. 
• My pay was cut (which they just reversed!) and haven't gotten a bonus at work for quite some time. But thankfully, I still have my job. 
• I quit my old church and the job I had there and moved into the role of the Wandering Reverend (which you all know and love!). 
• My room mate rearranged his room about 20 times (I want to make note that I am not exaggerating that number. . . he is crazy). 

But obviously, I can't say that all the changes have been bad. Wandering from church to church has been a great experience and I have learned a lot from it. Somehow, I learned to live on less pay and still manage to save a few bucks here and there. Losing a few loved ones has made me appreciate the ones I have here with me all the more. Also, I found my new favorite organization, First Glance (which, if you haven't donated money to yet, there's still time!).

Not sure what I learned from my room mate . . . maybe to sleep with one eye open, for fear that he'll really snap and try to kill me while I slumber. Yeah, that sounds about right.

But 2010 is looking to be a good year. Like I said, I got my pay back to normal (sans bonus). Also, I'll be training for the Cleveland 1/2 Marathon in May, which will be good for both the body and the mind. I do need to work on my spiritual life.

For all the wandering and learning, I still haven't found that level of deep faith that I seem to be looking for. Obviously, this is a life time goal. But I'd like to put some habits into place that will really get me going on the right path. Any thoughts?

Now I say hello to 2010 and goodbye to the crazy mess that was 2009. I wish I had something deep to say here, but honestly, I just hope it's a smoother year than before.

Oh, and a woman. That'd be nice.

Rev.

Polite Conversation

There are two things that you're never supposed to bring up in polite conversation: religion and politics. However, if the conversation is lagging, and you're attention hungry like me, you let it fly.

I'll talk conservatism to Democrats. Liberalism to Republicans. The Trinity to Jehova's Witnesses. Christ to Jews. And the deliciousness of bacon to Muslim's. Whatever. Bring it!

So just for fun, and because I haven't posted in a minute, I thought I'd give my 2 cents on the issues that are on the ballot tomorrow.

Issue 1 -

This is a proposal to issue bonds in order to make payments to veterans of recent wars. Go here for a full explanation.

Now, your Reverend is vehemently opposed to war in any of it's incarnations, be it "just" or otherwise. But at the same time, I realize that these men and women have done what they thought was best in order to help their countrymen. And even if I disagree with the reasons for it, I believe what they have done is noble.

The least we can do is to give them a helping hand in these tough times. I'm voting yes.

Issue 2 -

This is a hot one. Read the Beacon's take on it here. While they support it, they don't really give it resounding yes.

Animals are fun, they're cute, and good companions. Oh, and when cooked right, rather tasty. I don't want to see any animal tortured in order to be killed for food. It's 2009, we can do better. But at the same time, from what I've read, this "board" is going to be controlled by big Agri-business. Although it could be good to have a board to oversee the industry in Ohio. . . it's not very straight forward on how well this would work.

Voting No on this one. There are too many questions and it's not clear whether this board will help or hinder.

Issue 3 -

Oh yes. The big one. I'm so against casino's it's scary. But I'm also pro-gambling.

Hey, if you want to have a card game at your house with all your buddies, go for it! I got $20 on it! But all these companies do is bilk the poor for their money. Take a look at Detroit - wow, those casino's sure did help those cities. . . yeah right.

If I had it my way, we'd get rid of the lottery, too. They always try to push these things by saying it's "for the schools" or "it'll create jobs". First, if you need money for schools, then raise my taxes! Why do I need to "filter" my money through the casino to get it to the schools? And jobs? Um, those construction jobs will be around for what, a year? And then what? Lot's of janitors and dealers making $8.50 an hour? Wow, sounds great to me.

We voted it down multiple times before and it's time to vote it down again.

Issue 4 -

The last couple times I voted, I wondered about this whole County Engineer thing. I think part of it comes from ignorance. What does this guy do? If he's an engineer, like his title says, then I'd rather just see his resume, not his political party.

Should we really be voting for this?

With that, I'm voting Yes to get rid of the voting for the position.

Issue 5 -

A big yes on this one.

First, to all you Donny P haters, I love you. And if you can muster a fair amount of signatures to recall him, then fine. Let the people speak. But as it stood when the recall went down, it only took 2% of the city voting population to pass it.

This whole thing makes no sense. Let's fix it.

So there ya go. Love it, hate it, snuggle with it. Whatever. If you think I'm on dead wrong, let me know. I'd love to hear from you. You've got about 20 hours to try to persuade me otherwise.

But when I'm in the voting booth, making my life altering choices, the only person in there is Me, Myself, and I.

Go Cavs!

Rev.

Leonard Ravenhill

No, I haven't read any of his books. I wouldn't even know where to start or if I'd even understand them. But my good friend and pastor, Nathan, sent these quotes to me a while back and I thought I'd share them.

They're from a writer by the name of Leonard Ravenhill. And if these quotes do any justice to his writings, well then, I should probably get to reading him!

Enjoy.

"If weak in prayer, we are weak everywhere."

"Men give advice; God gives guidance."

"Are the things you are living for worth Christ dying for?"

"A sinning man stops praying, a praying man stops sinning"

"The only reason we don't have revival is because we are willing to live without it!"

"God pity us that after years of writing, using mountains of paper and rivers of ink, exhausting flashy terminology about the biggest revival meetings in history, we are still faced with gross corruption in every nation, as well as with the most prayerless church age since Pentecost."

"The Church used to be a lifeboat rescuing the perishing. Now she is a cruise ship recruiting the promising."
"The opportunity of a lifetime must be seized within the lifetime of the opportunity."

"My main ambition in life is to be on the devil's most wanted list."

"If Jesus had preached the same message that ministers preach today, He would never have been crucified."

"Entertainment is the devil's substitute for joy"

First Glance

So, there's a dark cloud circling over the Kenmore/Barberton area. I have heard more bad news in the last 2 weeks than I have ever heard. What the heck is going on? People losing jobs. People getting sick or hurt. People dying. The sun most certainly needs to come back out over our little neck of southwest Summit county!

As I said, I'm pretty much settled into Akron Baptist Temple. I still need to check out some other churches but I'll probably be sticking here for at least a few weeks. Next week they're having a class for people who are interested in becoming members. Yes, I'm going! It'll be interesting to see what they can do to try to get me to join. I mean, I am no ordinary church member. I am the one, the only, world renowned, Wandering Reverend. There's doctrine to consider, practices, orthodoxy. . . and if they offer good food. I'll join for a juicy burger and fries.

However, this past Thursday I did have the pleasure of checking out the best kept secret in Kenmore. A little teen outreach center by the name of First Glance. I have to say, I was most impressed.

First a little honesty- we all know that I love Kenmore. Love it! But it's not an ignorant love. It's kind of like the bathroom. Yeah, it's a great place to be but sometimes it stinks. We got crime, drugs, and a slew of other problems but dang it, I still love it. It's where I grew up. It's where I live. And if I get my wish, it's where I'll start my world empire.

The fact that something like First Glance exists gives me a lot of hope for our little burg.

I can't remember exactly how I found out about them. I think I read something in the Beacon Journal about it. I checked out their website and was immediately impressed. So the other week I sent an email to their leader, Noelle, asked if I could check it out, she said yes, and voila, I was in there like swim wear.

Once I made my way into the door (which took some effort, as it was locked and I wasn't sure how to get in. Thankfully some other adults showed up. . . ) and got the introductions, I got a little tour of the place. After seeing what they have, no wonder they draw 200-250 kids a week!

They had computers for the kids to use. A small skate park with ramps. An area to play basketball. Lots of places for kids to sit and chill. A snack bar. And something that almost brought a tear to my eye - X Box's and Wii's set up for the kids to play. Awesome! Not only can I hone my Guitar Hero skillz, but I can write it off spiritually as "outreach time"! Woot!

What is awesome about this place is that their goal is simply to get the kids in and get to know them. On Thursday and Friday nights there is not "bible talk" time or lesson. Just come in, hang out, have fun. As Noelle stated, a lot of these kids would never set foot in a church but will come to First Glance.

They do have a "church" that they invite the kids to called Second Look (get it, "First Glance", "Second Look". . . which I'm sure is followed by "Third Stare" and "Fourth Gaze").

After I left, I couldn't help but be excited. How freaking awesome is this thing and it's in K-Town to boot! Aaah!

Obviously, I'm sold. I just sent my email to their director, Noelle, to ask which night I could volunteer. I can't wait. Personally, I think I made a good impression when one of the kids from my old youth group at Southwest came up and gave me a big hug. Thanks, Christy!

Peace and chicken grease,

Reverend

ABT - The Bridge Service

FINALLY!

This is it. I finally made it to the Bridge service at the Akron Baptist Temple. This time there was no "special" service or rain storm to blow this one out! I almost can't believe I'm writing this. . .

As I stated before, to find your way around this building you need a compass and a map (GPS for you non-map readers). And remember, way back when before I started this, I had been to a service here and I still couldn't find my way easily to the Bridge. However, when I asked the lady standing at the door, she was more than friendly and pointed me in the right direction.

Once we (yep, "we". My cousin Rob and my disciple, Colin, went with me) made it to the Bridge, we found a good seat and things got going.

The worship band is awesome. They rock out pretty much from start to finish. The lead singer does a great job of getting things going and leading you to worship the Lord. The whole experience is more like a rock concert. They have fancy stage lights and smoke machines that really set off that rock concert mood. They even have kids that stand up at the stage! Sadly, no moshing. Weak.

And look! They have a Youtube page! http://www.youtube.com/abtbridge

Next up, the sermon. Since they only have one preacher, they do a kind of live feed to the Bridge area and show him on the big screen. Sounds kind of weird at first but really, you never even notice it.

His message was titled Fear vs. Faith. I have to be honest, at first, I was afraid of where he was going with it. Lot's of talk about earthquakes, storms, war, etc. and how it's pointing towards the end times. . . hrm. . . whenever I hear talk of the end times, I always question it.

If you look back at every generation that ever lived, they all had a reason to think that it was the "end of days". There have always been wars, storms, pestilence, plagues, and the like and, unless I missed it, there has been no rapture yet. People tend to take situations and apply the book of Revelations too liberally.

When it's truly the end of the world, we'll know it (and I'll feel fine). Jehova's Witnesses, Seventh Day Adventists, sorry, you're just going to have to wait until God says it's time.

But to be clear, the pastor only touched on this for the moment. His main thrust is that you shouldn't live in fear but in faith. In Christ, we have nothing to worry about. So in the end, his message was definitely more uplifting and empowering. Good stuff, Ed Holland.

As I have stated before, this is the place I'm going to be calling home for a while. There are really great people that go there and the worship is awesome. There are even these guys in a band called Chasing Chariots that go there. Check them out, they rock.

The only issues that I see is that they don't have a bible study for those people in my age group (no, I'm not quite ready for the Senior Study). However, I think that instead of doing a Bible study, I'm going to see about volunteering at a local teen hang out called First Glance. Getting my volunteer on at a Christian outreach center is sounding pretty good right now. I'll let you know how that works out.

Stay classy, Akron.

Rev.

Southwest Church of Christ

Wandering Reverend, back in action!

I have been very sporadic in the last few weeks and for that, I am sorry. It's been a wild ride but I'm praying that all the craziness is going to be over soon and we can get back to our regularly scheduled program.

As some of you may know, my step-dad, Bob Rummer, passed away on Friday. It came rather suddenly and took us by surprise. Yes, he was in the hospital for about 3 weeks because of a brain aneurysm but the whole time he was in there, they kept telling us that he was going to get better but that it would just take lots of time. Sadly, that all came crashing down early Friday morning when they found out that he had another aneurysm.

With that, it was only the machines at that point that were keeping him alive. So we made the very easy but very horrible decision to pull them all off of him. Easy because he would have never wanted to be kept alive that way and horrible because, well, there's your dad there and your telling them that it's over. . .

I was in the room when he passed and I have to tell you, you never ever want to be there for that. But my mom, of course, wouldn't have been anywhere else and I had to be there for her. I'm not an overly emotional person, or one to have nightmares, but I'd be lying if I said that moment hadn't run through my head a few times. It was so bizarre, so unreal.

So this Sunday, instead of going somewhere different, I went to church with my mom and family to Southwest Church of Christ, in Barberton. This is the church that I initially left to go a'wanderin'.

This isn't going to be regular review because I know Southwest very well. I could tell you all the things that are great there and then run right down to all the things that I think aren't so great. I mean, I did leave for a reason!

But instead of waxing poetically about all the things I think are wrong or that I don't like, I'd like to focus on the good. Bob loved that church and I think I'd be doing a disservice to his memory by doing anything else.

In fact, I'd like to focus on one good thing. The thing that Southwest has always succeeded at and done a stellar of job at. That one thing is people.

The moment that we found out Bob was in the hospital, the outpouring began. People came to the hospital, called and offered food, sent cards. You name it, we got it. And it's not that cheesey, "I'm just saying it because it's nice but I wouldn't really do it" attitude. I have seen it in action, these people are giving.

There are church plant programs and kits that you can buy to "jump start" your church and to get it moving. But without people, people that care about the Lord and about spreading his message of love and salvation, you've got nothing. Churches die because people stop caring. Southwest, despite its issues, has continued on because of this rock solid foundation that is loving, Christian, people.

Well, it's going to be rough for the next couple of days. Calling hours tonight and a memorial service tomorrow. If you could keep my mom in your prayers, I'd appreciate it.

Much love,

Rev.

Where you be?

Yes, it's been a while. Has it really be three weeks? My how the time flies!

First, my apologies for leaving you for so long! It's been an interesting few weeks! If you remember, I went out of town for a weekend for a little R&R (good times). Then on the Friday after that weekend, my step-dad, Bob, had an aneurysm (not so good times) and that set me back another two weekends.

Yes, I did go to church on those two Sundays. I went to St. Bernard's in downtown Akron (awesome 8pm service) and then again on the next Sunday, with the full intention of reviewing it. Yeah, that didn't happen.

So here's your mini review of St. Bernard's (no no, not "ber-nard", it's pronounced "ber-nerd". No, I don't know why. Chalk it up in the same category as to why men have nipples).

I went on the weekend that I was out of town. We made it back in the afternoon and I really didn't want to skip church. I had known about St. Bernard's from my cousin (I had actually been there once before) and that they had a late service (8pm!). So I showered up and hit the late road.

I went there expecting to find my typical Catholic experience. Heavy on boring liturgy, light on engaging relativity. Boy was I wrong.

Yeah, it started out like normal. Sing a few outdated hymns, say the memorized sayings. . . blah blah blah. But when it came time for the priest to preach, something weird happened. He grabbed the mic and started walking down the center of the pews. He asked for a show of hands "Is anyone here a hypocrite?" Not too many hands went up. He started laughing.

He asked another question. "If you can't follow all of Christ's teachings, then why should you try?". . . he actually wanted someone to answer! This guy was awesome! He spoke well. Never read from any notes. He was engaging. Even challenging. I'm not sure where they got this guy, but the Pope needs to come up with a way to clone him and put him at every church in the country!

After his awesome message, we had communion. And instead of just going through the motions, he took the time to explain what we were doing and why. Man, this guy is good.

I left there feeling refreshed and rejuvinated. Not only did he preach a great message but he also gave me hope that the Catholic faith is not without hope. There are still some Catholics who want to preach to the lost and actually grab a few.

I went to another service of theirs in the morning last Sunday. It wasn't quite as good but it was still 10 times better than any other Catholic church out there.

If I could ask you all to keep Bob in your prayers, I'd really appreciate it. The doctor says he'll make a full recovery but it will just take time. And my Mom, too. Thanks.

Yours back in action,

Wandering Reverend

ps - would it be in bad taste to mention that there were lots of cute girls there? Yeah? It would? Okay, I won't mention it.

LifeChurch.TV

(I suggest scrolling down and hitting play. You'll thank me for it later.)

Whew. I was up late Saturday night. Waaaay too late, dealing with issues that a friend of mine is having. I was up until 3am and probably didn't fall asleep until 3:30am. I had plans to go to church but I didn't wake up until about 10:30 this morning, and I wasn't sure what time they started, and all other kinds of things working against me.

So, I went with church online. Yes, church online. Everything is online nowadays, so is it really a stretch for there to be an online church?

Welcome to LifeChurch.TV.

I heard about LifeChurch last year when I went to a leadership conference down in Cincinnatti and I got to hear their pastor, Craig Groeschel, speak. He was a great speaker and made some really awesome points about what church is and some of the inner functions. He has a book out called, "IT". If you're in the church business, I'd recommend it.

"Going" to this church is very easy and the site is very straight forward. The church meets live and there is a countdown to start time. As you're waiting, there's a chat room where people meet and talk about what's going on with them. I guess this would be the lobby of your brick and mortar church.

First up was worship, which I have to be honest, only sort-of worked for me. Confession time: I wrote the 4 paragraphs of this while they were singing. Terrible, I know. I mean, at regular church, I sing and clap and do all that. But it being online really didn't have the same impact for me. Hrm. . . so I have a bigger problem singing by myself than in front of other people. . . I have no clue what that says about me but I'm not sure it's healthy!

Next up, communion. Oh yes, communion. Before the worship started, they announced that they were going to be partaking, and said that if you wanted to take, then go get some bread and wine (or grape juice) so that you would be prepared. Crazy, I know. No, I didn't partake but I still think it's an interesting concept to try. Still, kind of weird.

After this, Groeschel came on to give his sermon. He spoke about how each and everyone of us is called to be a minister. No, not just the guys who went to Bible college or who are paid staff at a church, but eveyone that is a Christian. He drew from the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37), showing how the priest and the Levite went past the injured man, but it was the Samaritan, the layman, who helped the man with his needs.

A couple of good quotes from his message: "The church's message never changes, but the methods do change. To reach people no one is reaching, you have to do something no one is doing." I love the 2nd part of that. It reminds me of another quote, I think from Dave Ramsey, which says "If you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you've always got." Pretty simple stuff, yes. But I think so often, in our heads we're saying "Yeah, I need to change! I want things to be different!" but right after that, we end up doing the same exact things we've always been doing. Ugh.

His other good one: "When you know who you are, you'll know what to do." He gave the example of a time he was playing basketball and a guy there blew out his knee. Everyone there was just wincing and not sure what to do. But another guy ran up and said "I'm a doctor! Let me through." and he was able to help the man. The idea being that, if you know that you're a Christian, then you know what you are to do. You can help. You can make a difference by becoming involved. However, if you dont' know who you are . . .

After his message, he prayed and asked anyone if they committed themselves to Christ then to let them know by pushing the button (a little button popped up that you could hit). A virtual alter call. . . interesting. It was definitely a lot less creepy than the one at the Apostolic church, that's for sure.

Kind of a weird experience, in that I met no one new and didn't get to really get involved in worship. But I'm thinking - how many people do this by going to an actual building-church? You go to church, give a fake smile and handshake to a few people, sit in the pew, waiting for it to be over, and then leave. Never making a connection, never engaging in fellowship, never truly worshipping. I have to be honest, if nothing else, this online church made me miss real church all that much more.

They do have ways to meet with people in real life. There are small groups, I guess, that meet locally (a quick check of my zip code shows there are none in my area. Boo!) And something like that would be very interesting. There are a lot of interesting thoughts about doing church that way that are running through my mind, too many to put here.

A little announcement from your Reverend, I think my time of wandering is drawing to a close. Wandering has been good, and I have really enjoyed it. All the encouragement from people and compliments (fake compliments, I'm sure, but I'll take it anyway I can get it). I knew from the get-go that this could never be a full-time gig and that it would have to end some day.

But don't worry! You still have me for about another month! I have a big finale planned and then another, daily, project planned after that. What are the plans, you ask? I'm not giving it away! You'll have to stay tuned for it! But I really think you will enjoy them.

And sadly, you'll have to wait 2 weeks for the next church, as I'll be out of town next weekend. Maybe I'll make some time to drop some knowledge on you next week. . . if you're good.

With much love and respect from the interwebs,

Rev.

Akron Baptist Temple - Part Deux

It's been a few months since I've been to the Akron Baptist Temple and if you recall, when I was there last it was a "very special" service, with the mayor speaking and a guest preacher doing the business. My cousin, Nick, kept bugging me, "Dude, you have to come see The Bridge service. It's awesome! You just gotta go. Dude. Dude." I kind of didn't want to do a Part 2 of any church but thought, eh, since I'll be going to a different version of the service, it might be fun.

Apparently God had other plans. The big rain that we recently got did a number on the roof of the ABT. Lots of water damage and other water related issues that put The Bridge service out of service for about a month. Oh the irony of it all!

To look on the bright side, it was a good service.

Upon entering one of the many entrances to the building, a couple of very nice greeters met us at the door. We then walked through the maze that is Akron Baptist Temple. You could very easily get lost in that place! Like The Chapel in Akron, it's another one of those old churches that has been added onto about a dozen times. And I think each time they add on, they add another 5 corridors to the place. Unless I were to come in the front door (which is not convenient to get to, as it's in the front and you park in the back) you'd get lost.

We made it in and found our way to the balcony seating, where all the bourgeois sit (sans coulots sit down below).

First up was the worship service, which was good. Nothing exciting, like rock bands or DJ's, but it was done well. Band was on point, songs were oldies but goodies (one of my oldie faves, When We All Get to Heaven). They also had an older lady by the name of Rose sing, which was great.

Next was the sermon, brought to you by Ed Holland. They are currently in a sermon series that is dealing with THE END times out of Revelation. Personally, I've never liked sermons about this. For one, Revelation is soooo open to interpretation and I question anyone who reads it then says they know for sure what's going to happen. Second, it's such a divisive topic in Christianity. I'd rather we just let it lie than bring it to a boil. Can we just agree that it's very vague and when it finally does happen, we'll know it.

My personal view, which I took from an old song, is "I read the back of the book and we win!"

However, he did a nice job of balancing interpretation with insight and a lesson that we can learn from it.

After the sermon, it was over. We left and I went out in the woods and got shot by paintballs for the rest of the afternoon!

So I've made a kind-of-sort-of decision. If things with Kenmore Church of Christ don't work out, I think I might try out The Temple for an extended period of time (notice the lack of full on commitment). First, it's a nice place with lots of great programs. Second, I know a lot of people that go there and they are all really great people (except for my cousin, Nick, he's a jerk! Ha ha . . . don't worry, he doesn't read the blog but I'm sure his wife will tell him!). Third, they're local.

I don't judge anyone (to their face) that drives 20 minutes to church but in my personal view, church is a local thing. A place not only to meet and worship with fellow believers but also a place to be active and get involved in the community. A place to put your faith into action.

I'm not sure how many churches there are in Akron, but imagine if every church said to itself, "Okay, we're going to concentrate all of our efforts on the neighborhood that we sit it and meet its needs, both temporal and spiritual." Every church putting its all into one small area. What kind of difference would that make?

Anyway, it was a good Sunday and I'm glad I was able to worship with my cousin.

Peace to mah homies on the streets,

Rev.

St. Mary's - downtown Akron

Sorry I'm late, kids! Daddy just had a few things he had to take care of. Daddy still loves you. . . now get daddy's beer! Ha ha.

I had family in town this Sunday so I went with them to good old St. Mary's Roman Catholic Church in beautiful, awesome, downtown Akron. Yes, I know, I've already been to a Catholic church but I wanted to take in the experience with my family.

However, it's a Catholic church. The sevice is exactly the same way it was when I was there two months ago. Yeah, there were different readings and the priest's homily (Catholic-speak for "sermon") was different (and boring). But other than that, completely the same.

For those of you who are from the Akron area you have probably read that the Cleveland Diocese (that's the overall governing body for this area of the church) is going to be closing several churches. They have already closed a few and more are on the chopping block, including St. Mary's. Problems are lack of attendance, lack of giving, and from what I can see, lethargy.

In this humble Reverends opinion, I believe lethargy is the biggest culprit. A few thoughts . . .

Has a Catholic person ever invited you to church? And no, not for the bingo or the 8th annual ethnic fest. I mean invited you because they were eager to share the Lord with you. I'm guessing no. I think for all these years, they've just assumed that parents will bring their kids, those kids wil bring their kids, and so on. I think it's sad if any church is counting on population growth for outreach. Really.

What about friendliness? In the two churches that I have been to, there were no greeters at the door and no one inside to come around and greet. You just go in, grab a seat, and think about where to go to lunch. Even when it's time to greet others (that is, the "peace be with you" handshake time) no one makes an effort to even seek out people. I shook the hands with the people standing next to me (my family) and that was it. No one left their pews at all.

Fellowship at Catholic churches seems to not exist (no, you can't count bingo or your random festival).

The service is oh so very foreign to anyone who is not Catholic. The prepared recitations, the communion, nothing at all is explained or given consideration that hey, maybe not everyone in here is a Catholic. Maybe it's because they're so used to not having any new people that they just gave up on it.

I think the Catholic church has a lot going for it. Their leaders are still powerful in the community and in the world (see Pope) and when they speak, people listen. They also have networks of charity programs to help those in need.

But where is the love of the Gospel message? Where is the passion for bringing the lost to Christ? Where has their faith gone?

I think these problems can be overcome but only if there's a change in mindset in the leadership. A change of heart. A heart that has passion for the Lord and for those who need Him.

Sorry it's not much of a review of St. Mary's but it's my honest assessment of what's going on with our brothers and sisters in the Lord.

Love,

WR

ps - make sure you wait for Animal come out. . .

The Church on the Boulevard

It was a cold and dank morning . . . the birds were singing songs that would make doves cry while a dog barked in the distance. Somewhere a church bell was ringing and . . . Um, yeah. I'll just to stick to the reviews and leave the creative writing to someone better qualified.

Yeah, it's muggy as all get out (welcome to Ohio!) which makes going to a small church all the more fun (they usually can't afford A/C) but as they say, no guts no glory! And sweat. Lots of sweat.

I'm still sticking to small, nearby churches so this morning I went to the Church on the Boulevard (no points for a creative name). This is a new church in an old building down on Kenmore's main drag, Kenmore Boulevard. The church that was there before it closed up shop and for a while, it was a coffee shop of sorts (I never went). After that closed up, a new church started up there and has been there for a few years.

I like old churches. I like that they have unpadded wooden pews, that they have stained glass windows, and that they actually use the front door of the church. Yeah, I know, a building is just a building and it doesn't count for anything if there's no spirit there, but I still like them. Must be something with my Catholic roots. . .

I walked in the front door (even had cool, old doors!) and took a seat in the old, wooden pews (okay, I'm done). Kind of an odd room - it's a square room, very tall, with the stage taking up one corner and the pews taking up the rest. There were what looked like old loge seats that were behind the regular pews. Yeah, very odd, but it was comfortable and it worked.

A couple of very nice gentlemen greeted me and asked me where I was from and all the standard questions. Nice but not pushy (I say that a lot, but it's true).

A few cool things off the bat. First, they seem to cater to the deaf community in some ways. There seemed to be quite a few of them there and there was a person signing on stage for the whole service. Second, lots of teens! And there were four on stage helping with the worship. Awesome! Going to a church with no kids is oh so very depressing. The kids just bring a certain life and to me, it shows where that the church has a priority in growing their kids.

Worship started up and it was very good. They sang a mix of old and new but all with the full band. The kids sang well and the band was well practiced. I dug it.

I seem to have a knack for doing this - their regular preacher was on vacation this week. Doh! This is probably 4th or 5th time that I have seen this. Am I cursed or something? Yeah, it probably has to do with the fact that it's summer, but still.

Luckily, the guy that stood in for him was pretty good. He spoke well, told some good stories, and kept me interested. His message was from Acts 6-28-40, that is, the story of Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch. Strangely enough, this is the 2nd time in the last week that I've had a eunuch brought up in conversation. . . weird. Anyway, he spoke about how we need to be ready to be moved by God and to do His will. Very good stuff to hear after a long week!

Next up they took the offering, while the rest of the congregation sang and let me tell you, any sleepers were snapped to attention! Instead of bringing the band back up they busted out the organ! Honestly, I don't think I have ever been to a church that actually used an organ. My old church had one when I was a kid but they never used and it was gone by the time I got older. Yeah, the organ was a little underwhelming. It was just loud.

I have to say - good church. They spoke about quite a few outreach programs they have and other services they do in the community. A very good mix of young and old and good worship. Yeah, the organ was bleh, but really a minor complaint for all the other good stuff they have going on.

Bonus! I heard that Kenmore Church of Christ is voting on becoming a church plant today. Lord! Please hear this boys prayer and let them get a restart! K-Town needs it!

Revvin' and revvin',

Rev.

Unitarian Universalist Church of Akron

Well this morning was . . . interesting. Yeah, it was a little weird but in all honesty it was good. Why, you may ask? Because I was at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Akron.

Let's set the ground rules for this one off the jump. First, I don't agree with the UU's on theology at all. I mean, I could write on and on about theology and doctrinal differences but that's not really getting me anywhere. We know that your Reverend is a devout Christian and isn't looking to change his stripes. So what I'm going to do is to relate the experience and how it came off to a new guy. And really, what can the Church learn from them?

This morning I was joined by my good friend, Tricia, who actually recommended the place to me. I picked her up and we were off.

We arrived just in time for the service (which is good for K-Towners, we're perpetually late) and found a seat near the back. My first impression was the place looks church-ish, although I'm not quite sure what I thought it would be like (big posters of Obama and Marx?), I guess I didn't expect it to look like "church". It was a pretty modern looking place with several classrooms for children's classes.

They started off with some announcements and then sang a song, Enter, Rejoice and Come In (a Christian hymn washed of the word "Lord"). What was funny was that before the song started, the leader said that they wanted to sing and shout but when the song started, a somber piano played and the congregation barely spoke up. Um, party on?

Unfortunately for this Sunday, they did not have a regular preacher. I knew from their website that they didn't have one yet but that the new guy was starting. However, I got the date wrong and we didn't get to see the new guy. Doh! He starts next week.

However, some of the leaders had went to a UU conference recently so each of them stood up and spoke about what they learned and how it went. They spoke about things like social justice, adults and teens working together and leadership. It was pretty okay but I did have a little trouble choking down the uber-liberal theol. . . Wait! I said I wasn't going to talk about that!

Afterwards, we sang another song, which included some off rhythm clapping and tamborines. What are you gonna do with a place full of whitey's? And then it was done.

But this is where they really shined (churches, take note). These were some of the friendliest and most inviting people I have ever met. Several people came up to us, introduced themselves, asked our names, and told us a little about their church. All of them talked a little about themselves and asked about us (everyone thought we were a couple. Gross! Tricia's like my sister! Ew!).

Apparently, after each service, they meet for fellowship over some coffee and snacks. This is a great way to get people together and keep the congregation together. Normally I'd skip this part of the service but they were so friendly, and Tricia was up for it, that we stuck around for it.

The service was a little weak, with a sub par worship service, but they really tore it up on the inviting factor. And really, that's one of the most important factors at a church. You can have right doctrine and a fancy building, but without some friendly people, forget it. You fail.

Would I ever go back? Heck no. The Rev believes that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God who died for our sins, not in this "We're all one with the stars and trees and tigers and rivers and all the stuff of life" (a direct quote from their bulletin). However, if I was on the fence with my beliefs, and was looking for a place to belong, this would be a very tempting place. In fact, I think that Tricia is going to go back again to check out their new preacher.

Churches of Christ, you have been warned.

With love and peace for the trees and goats,

Rev.

Praise Chapel Assembly of God

I'm one of those weird people who likes to walk. If I could live, work, and shop all within walking distance, I'd be the happiest dude ever. There's just something nice about having to take the time to get somewhere, instead of always rushing there and worrying about traffic. When you're walking, you just sort of saunter along ("mosey along" for you out west), lost in your own thoughts.

Today I got to walk to church and it was everything I'd hoped. . . yeah.

Praise Chapel Assembly of God is right up the road from me. I probably drive past it about once a day. It's a small, corner lot church that really doesn't stick out. It's an old brick building with an old weathering sign out front. Yes, it did have a corny quip on the sign.

I got there right on time (sign says it starts at 10:30am) and was greeted by some very friendly people. I'd say there were about 30 people in attendance total. As we were chatting away, I noticed that the music equipment was still sort of scattered about. Apparetly, set up time is 10:30, not start time. Hrm. . . oh well, I'm in no rush.

Once worship got started, I really had to stop myself from laughing. They had the usual: drums, piano, guitar, and casio keyboard with 8-bit music backing. Whaaaa? For those of you who don't know, 8 bit music is what was playing in the background of Super Mario Bros. the whole time you played (for an example 8-bit music, click here). I couldn't help it, I know I had a goofy smile on my face the whole time. Overall, it was a good worship experience but I think I could have lived without the 8 bit version of my favorite worship songs (although now that I think about it, I wonder if there are some 8 bit Christian artists? That'd be awesome!).

Next up was the sermon and I have to say, not too shabby. He spoke about how we need to rely on God and His mercy and that when we don't, that's when things go wrong. He actually used a bit of Scripture (unlike last week) to make the point. Stlye-wise he was very good, he had a good speaking voice and he made all of his points in a timely fashion.

Uh oh - altar call time again. And this one was a little more creepy than the last one. He called up people who needed prayer or whatever, cool. Then he called up people to pray for them, cool. But wait, now there are only two people left in the pews! Me and some lady who I think had a bum leg. Great.

Here's where it gets interesting. First, before he came down to pray, he grabbed a little bottle of oil and was putting it on the sick people's forehead. Okay, that's not too crazy. I mean, it does say to anoint the sick with oil, so I'm with it.

But then came the coup de grace, the moment I'd been waiting for. Yes, he snuck in some speaking in tounges! Oh yeah! I had never seen this in person before and this was the exact reason I wanted to go here! And it was kind of funny - he just snuck it in there a few times, I think only twice. It was like he was just seasoning the blessing with some random mumblings, er, "being filled with the spirit". Note the sarcasm.

What a great Sunday. I got to hear my favorite hymns played in 8-bit music and I got to get my first taste in seeing someone speak in tounges. And honestly, besides those two things, it wasn't a bad place. The people were friendly (as I was walking home one of them drove by and yelled "God bless you, Steve!") and the preacher was good (even though your Wandering Reverend thinks that speaking in tounges is highly questionable theology).

I'm going to stick to another small one next Sunday, I think. There is a small, store front church down on Kenmore Blvd that I'd like to check out and another one near me called Pavilion of Praise, which wins a prize for incorporating alliteration into their name.

Oh, oh! Before I go - what did the pentecostal preacher say after he bought Chevy? . . . shouldaboughtahonda! Ha!

Rev.

Apostolic Church of Barberton

Really, I shouldn't be typing this. My grass is oh-so very tall right now and my bushes are in need of a serious trim. But hey, who am I to put off the Lord's work for yard work? (this is the Lord's work, right?).

This Sunday I found myself at the Apostolic Church of Barberton, located in, as the name might suggest, Barberton. They meet in a large new building that I think is only 5 or 10 years old. It's big and spacious but not The Chapel big and crazy.

Most of us know the Apostolics by their women: they're the ones you always see with the really long hair and the jean skirts or dresses. The men, just your regular dude in a suit. But as I've heard and seen, the more conservative dress they wear, the crazier they are in worship.

Worship started off great, then they kept going, until they smashed great into the ground and kicked it. The band was awesome and singers on stage had great voices. They sang about 4 or 5 songs (long versions, might I add) and then a guy came up and did announcements. Okay, not bad. But wait! Now more people went up and formed a choir and sang probably about 3 or 4 more songs. Oh snap. (Side note: Your Rev has a bum knee right now and it was starting to ache because, yes, we were standing the whole time!).

However, most of the people there were very into it (though I saw a few take a seat and a couple even wander around!). People were raising their hands, jumping, and shouting, really getting into it. It was just on the line of creepy "getting into it" but they held it in.

In the middle of this worship time, they had an altar call, that is, if you were sick or struggling, you could come down front and have the leaders pray over you. While this can be a little weird (and sometimes, it can be very very weird) they did it pretty well. I'd say about 15 or so people made their way down and they prayed.

The preacher, from what they said, was a guest speaker. And really, he wasn't really a preacher in the sense of what I think of as one but more a rally leader. A church cheer leader, if you will. I say that because he didn't really teach anythinig new, no bible lesson, no new insights. He spoke very loudly and fervently about God's mercy and how great it is. He read from 1 Timothy 1:14-16, but he didn't really go too much from there.

His delivery was something that I had heard mocked on TV and the like but had never actually seen done in person. An example: AND WHEN JESUS-UH, COMES BACK-UH, I HOPE YOU'RE ALL READY-UH, FOR THE LORD-UH! . . . yeah, just like that. A lot of style and not much content.

Also, while he was preaching, there were these guys who I think were elders, sitting in these large throne-like chairs behind him. If the speaker was the cheerleader, then these guys were the coaches and/or moms and dads in the stands. They would yell out encouragement to him as he spoke (Preach it! Sing it! We want a pitcher not a belly itcher!. . . maybe not that last one). Other than that, I'm not quite sure what their purpose was. Maybe if you're the biggest giver from the week before you get to sit there, I don't know.

After his pep talk, he made yet another alter call. Now this one was slightly awkward. He said that if you were a Christian or were someone who had a problem, then you should come on down. Um, who doesn't that apply to? Yes, I am a Christian and trust me, I have plenty of problems, but I sure as heck didn't go down. Talk about standing out - it was me and about 12 other people that didn't go down out of a crowd of 300 or so.

This part of the ceremonies went on for about 20 minutes. Some people were singing but most were down front praying and waving their hands, while others were just milling about. I felt compelled to leave but I stuck it out for the sake of the experience.

After this, the leader guy prayed and, done. Yeah, kind of an anti-climatic end. However, I was ready to split.

I did get to make some small talk with a couple of friendly people but really, I wasn't too impressed. At the beginning, I thought this was going to another House of the Lord, with all the excitement and enthusiam. But it just ended up seeming weird and pointless. The sermon that had no point and the never-ending worship just kind of killed it.

Oh well.

So in the next couple of weeks, I think I want to hit up a really small church. You know, that church you see tucked in a neighborhood and you think, who the heck goes there? What happens in there? Yeah, I want to find out. It might be creepy but what the heck, it'll be fun.

Until next week! Same Rev time-UH! Same Rev channel-UH!

The Movement Church

Go ahead and scroll down to start the music, I'll wait. . . geez! That took forever, slow poke!

So to be a cool new church plant these days, you need to a) meet in a movie theatre, b) have a cool, young, hip, preacher, and c) have a name that involves some sort of motion and/or action. I present to you, The Movement Church.

I found this place just driving down Wooster Road in Barberton. The marquee in front of the old theatre had their website (instead of the usual midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, which

sadly, I have seen once and only once because an ex girlfriend made me watch it) so I went to their site, it twas cool, so I bounced on in.

The theatre they meet in is the old West Theatre in Barberton. How old is The West? Let's just say that my mom, aunts, and uncles used to walk there when they were kids to see movies like The Ten Commandments and Lawrence of Arabia. Yeah, that old. But the place has tons of character, from the old box office out front to the concession stand inside. The seats were showing their age, though, and it was a little tight for a tall dude (6' 4" suckas!).

Once inside, I was greeted by a couple of very friendly people (sorry, don't remember their names, I was up late last night celebrating a certain countries independence). As with most good churches, the people were friendly but not pushy. There were about 30 or so people in attendence.

Worship was pretty good for being a new church plant (they just started in October of last year). They don't have a worship team or lead singer, but instead show worship videos on the big screen. No, not the best of ways to do it but definitely not the worst. But hey, they're not even a year old, so I give them a pass and honestly, it wasn't that bad.

I'm not sure what it is about church plants but they have the best speakers! This guy was great. Great message with just a hint of funny in there to keep you interested and a passion for spreading the Good News. He was a little long in the tooth (he admitted this himself) but really I didn't mind because it was that good.

His message was about how men should be fathers to their children (Ephesians 6:1-4). It ranged fro

m not-so-common sense of the fact that fathers need to spend time with their kids, guiding them and being an influence in their lives, to the spiritual of raising your kids to know God's love.

Communion and offering followed this, which was a unique experience. They had a table up front with the juice and bread on it, and one simply made their way up and took as they felt compelled. They had music playing while this was going on, so it didn't feel awkward. In reality, it was very cool. You don't feel rushed or compelled to take, but have some time to really think things through and pray about it. Same with the offering - there was just a bucket up front that people put their money in. Anyone looking for a way to change up their communion/offering time for the better, it's right here ($100 comission for me, thanks).

After this it was done and done.

What a great little church in Barberton! I have a feeling that this place won't be obscure for too long if they keep it up. Great people and the 2nd best preacher in Barberton (yes, 2nd, if I don't say 2nd, my old preacher, who lives in Barberton, might cry. You know I love you, Naterob!). If you're headed to Barberton, pass up the chicken (if you value your life, pass up the chicken) and check this place out. You won't be dissapointed.

Hugs and Kisses,

Revarina

The House of the Lord

After last Sunday's 50 minute jaunt up to the east side of Cleveland and the week before up to Independence, I decided to stick close this Sunday. This is a church that I've been wanting to go to for some time. Oh yes! Bring on The House of the Lord!

The House of the Lord (THOTL) is what I guess would be called a "black" church.

Let me digress: I hate race. I hate the fact that people bring it up. I hate the fact that it's an issue. Can we just get to the point in the world that people are people? No matter where they're from, what color, what continent, we're all just people trying to figure it out? Trying to find out who God is what He has in store for me?

Okay, I'm done.

THOTL is located in southwest Akron, near Rolling Acres Mall (RIP) and Hawkins Plaza. The first thing you'll notice upon entering is that the people are very friendly. For a large church (I'd say about 500 or so in attendance), there were people walking around, shaking hands, and saying they were glad to see you. Wow. Personal touch is something that you don't see a lot of times at a big church. I felt very welcomed and at ease.

They opened with worship time and it was great. They had a good size band but it wasn't overbearing (see The Chapel in Green entry, and its super orchestra). The singers were amazing and it felt very sincere. People were waving their hands, singing aloud, and yes, there was some actual dancing in the aisles. Some brought their own tamborines. My only complaint is that they were lax in putting the words up on the big screen, so I really wasn't able to sing along. I'm all for extending the song out and letting it go but at least let me get the words down first. Honestly though, a small complaint for what was an overall awesome experience.

The preacher is a guy named (get ready for it) Bishop F. Josephus Johnson, II. Yes, it's a mouthful of a title but I think a guy with this much charisma needs a big title to hold him. He is one of the best preachers that I have ever heard speak. Serious, witty, and challenging, he brings out the Gospel message with fervor and sincerity. He has what would be described as the typical baptist preacher persona, however he doesn't come off as showy. I loved how he got the crowd into the message and challenged them to think about the lesson in their own lives.

His message came from Genesis 19:14-38. It tells the story of when God was about to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah (sound familiar? Momentum talked a little about this a couple of weeks ago). However, he focused on how Lot's wife looked back longingly for Sodom and was turned into a pillar of salt. You see, she didn't just glance back to get a look at the action, she looked back because she longed for the sinful, debaucherous life they had lived in the city. The lesson takes on full form when we read in the next section that her daughters get their father drunk so that they may "lay" with them. Oh. Snap.

The lesson: kids hear us talk and see our actions, more than they hear our lessons. When they see us longing for those "days of yore" when we were drunk and promiscuous, they're going to get the sense that if we could, we'd go back to that life. . . instead, we should set our gaze upon the present and look toward the future, not longing for what we once were but what can be through Christ. Man, I needed to hear that.

After the sermon was the offering. I have never seen an offering like this. Most churches kind of go through the offering quickly, not wanting to seem like the stereotypical money hungry church. Not these guys - they make an event of giving. He prayed for the offering, for the people giving it, for the people using it. Then he prayed for the financial situation in everyone lives, mentioning promotions, job hunts, peoples health, etc. While he prayed, people waved their offering envelopes in the air. Wowza. Offering time lasted about 15 minutes. But again, it didn't come off as cheesey or the stereotype - it was people being joyful givers.

Finally it was prayer time. They had everyone hold hands with the person next to him - normally, I'd be kind of creeped out by this but I was having such a good time, I was down for whatever. He was praying and then asked that we pray for the people we were holding hands with, and as a reminder, to go ahead and give their hand a squeeze so that we know. Ha! I'm squeezing a 50+ year old mans hand in church! But again, it was awesome! When it was over, we gave each other a hug and it was over.

I left this place with a renewed vision and pumped about going out and serving.

If things with Kenmore CoC don't work out, this would be the place for me to land for a while. I just love the style, attitude, and level of sincerity that I felt there. It's been a long time since I've felt moved physically by the Spirit. I highly recommend The House of the Lord.

Until next time,

The Rev.

Velocity Church

Since I've started doing my bloggin' and wanderin', I have to be honest, I haven't done much church workin'. I've just been sitting back, criticizing and talkin' smack but I haven't done much in the way of helping the situation.

Well last week at Momentum, they said they were helping a new church over on the east side of Cleveland get started and get moving. They needed volunteers. They needed a Reverend who was prone to wander. Well, what better way to kill two birds with one stone? I'd get to check out a new place and get my service on. Bring on Velocity!

The first challenge is distance. I live in southwest Akron (K-TOWN!). They are on the far east side of Cleveland. 55 minutes away according to Google maps. Oh, and the work starts at 7:30 AM. So the Rev was up at 6am to shower, shave, shinola and hit the road. Who knew the sun was up at 6am? Most certainly not me.

The new church is tucked way back in a neighborhood off of Mayfair Road and they meet in an old school (not old like creepy, Scooby Doo villian hangout old, but no longer a functioning school old). A daycare now owns the building and they rent from them. Again, just like Momentum, not an actual church building, and again, a great asset. The place has a nice gym that they use for the main worship and then use the fully stocked classrooms for their youth classes.

I got to work helping unload chairs, set up signs, and other miscellaneous tasks. Remember the drawback to not having a building? You regular readers should know! It's having to set up and tear down every single Sunday. It being 85 degrees at 7:30 in the morning makes this all the more fun. However, they had quite a few good workers, and as they old saying goes, many hands make for light work.

The guy I was working mostly with was named Scott Pugh, the preacher. He was a young-ish dude who is actually from my hometown area. He knew of both Southwest and Kenmore Church of Christ. A real top knotch guy who really had a heart for this place. His sermon was based on the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). A great sermon for Father's Day, as it shows how a good father can be.

Bonus! He said he knows the people that might be helping with the new plant in Kenmore Church of Christ and as far as he has heard, it's a done deal. Oh snap!

The worship style was very similar to Momentum, that is, they rocketh. Sounded great, played great songs, and just generally rocked the Casbah. And since I got there super early, I got to talk some of them and they are really cool people.

After the first service, I was up to help with the 3, 4, and 5 year old kids during the second service. Being a former youth leader, this was no problem. And the young lady I worked with, Stacy, was great.

With kids these little, you can't really have a big lesson. Tell them a little about Jesus and then play with them. Kids were fun and cool. Our only incident was the alleged theft of two quarters from one little boy. The accused didn't admit to the crime and we were left with an open case. I have devoted the rest of my life now to bringing down the accused!!! I will not rest until justice is served! . . . eh, not really. I'm too lazy.

Oh, and we got to play Duck Duck Goose. I love that game.

After that, I helped a little with putting back chairs, but there were so many people helping, I went ahead and slipped out the door and headed back to the A-K.

All in all, a great experience. It takes a special person and a certain mindset to be a part of a church plant. And after getting to spend some time with these people, I can already tell that this place is going to succeed. They are great folks.

I remembered how much I miss doing crazy church work and working with kids. Velocity, while only 11 weeks old, is a great church and if I have any readers on the east side of Cleveland (I doubt it!), I highly recommend it.

Verily Verily Yours,

Revvin' and Wanderin'

A Crude Interlude

The other day I was regailing some childhood memories with my friend, Noukay, and noticed that more-than-a-few of our childhood memories revolved around one particular smelly body function. Farting. Stories of our friend Tim farting so loud that it woke his mom up. Or of Noukay surprising his sister by letting one rip right near her face. And one that was so bad, the smell lingered for hours and we even gave it a name, Yankee Pudding. Aaah, the good old days.

Farting is the single most funny action that there ever is, was, or will be. Ever.

And I now pose this - people in the Bible farted. Yes, those stalwarts of faith, those pillars of the church, and those purveyor's of the Gospel message all at some point let out some foul scents at several points in their lives.

Most of Jesus' life is recorded in the Bible but not all of it. Not the mundane, day to day. Now if those 12 Apostles were anything like a group of guys hanging out today, I have to believe that there was more than one fart joke, several fingers pulled, and an SBD squeezed out during a sermon. James and John were brothers! I can only imagine how many times one let a juicy one out and blamed it on the other!

Did Adam and Eve fart? This may seem like an odd question to those of my non-Christian readers but to those of us in the faith, it could be dilemma. You see, we believe that God created Adam and Even perfect. No sickness, no aging, no defects. It was only until after they ate the apple (sinned against God) that they began to age and eventually die.

But the question is: while they were still perfect, did they play the butt trumpet? They were in a garden, so that means there were beans, right? Toot, Toot!

My unscientific, untheological answer is a resounding yes! Humor this good, this pure, this awesome could only come from God.

So next time you're taking things too seriously around the church or home, or if things seem to not be going your way, let one rip. Because on the day of Judgment, the only trumpets sounding might not be the ones the angels are playing.

Disgustingly,

Rev.

PS - poop in the Bible! Deurteronomy 23:12-13 "Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to revlieve yourself. As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hold and cover up your excrement."

Momentum Christian Church

There's no place like Momentum. There's no place like Momentum. There's no place like Momentum. . . Yeah, if you couldn't tell, I love this church.

To be honest, this isn't the first time I've been on the awesome ride that is Momentum Christian Church. I went there last summer when I was taking a hiatus from my regular church. And even then, I loved it. It's everything that church could be and more.

Well, let's take a break from my shameless compliments and get to the review.

This Sunday I took my cousin, Rob, with me. Knowing that Rob hasn't been to church in a while, I knew going here would knock his socks off. And since I know he's reading this, Rob is a big fat jerk. Ha ha! You know I'm playin', baby! I love ya!

I picked up Rob and we headed out on our 40 minute drive to Independence. Yes, it's in Independence. 40 minutes up I-77 from K-Town. This is why your Reverend has not given up his life and joined this church. Sigh. However, the church planting group that started them is the same one that might be taking over the church in Kenmore. Oh how often I pray for this every night! I also wish on a star and rub my magic genie lamp, both to no avail. Stick to prayer.

The first thing you notice about the church is their meeting place. They have no building but instead meet in the Cinemark. They rent out the place every Sunday morning and hold their service in one of the theatres. And yes, it is as awesome as it sounds. The benefits to not having a building are endless (no property to maintain, no one has emotional ties to the building, and all the other costs of owning a building). The downside being that you have to set up all your equipment every single Sunday. Oy. That could get old if you didn't have enough hands.

Upon entering, the first thing you'll notice is. . . the smell of popcorn. It's a movie theatre. The second thing you'll notice is FREE REFRESHMENTS! Cookies, bagels, donuts. Coffee, water, tea. They had it all. Too bad your Rev is trying to shed his belly and lose some weight. So now instead of complimenting you, I loathe you for tempting me, Momentum! I couldn't resist and had a cookie! Gah!! I'm such a failure!

After I wept bitterly for a few minutes over my failure, we headed in. The band was rocking out some Skynard, playing "Sweet Home Alabama". Their worship band is top knotch and rocks out. Band is great and the singers are terrific. Some might say that it's a little too much rocking, but for yours truly, it was the perfect mix of rockin' out and worshipin' out (not too much wallin' out, either).

One of things that they are known for is their multi-media. Every week they make a short video to go along with their message. And no, this isn't one of those cheeseball, Christian videos that you see that just copy secular media. They make genuinely funny stuff. Below is todays video:

Their preacher is a guy named Dan Smith, made famous by his parody video, Baby Got Book. This guy is good. His message came from Genesis 19, which is the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. A big part of his sermon touched on the oh-so-sensitive topic of homosexuality. However, Dan did it right and other Christians should take note. Let's be straight - homosexuality is a sin. But what most Christians forget is that it's one of many sins. Lying. Cheating on your spouse. Stealing. Blasphemy. All sins equal in "badness" to homosexuality. However, most Christians seem to hold a special level of sin in their hearts for homosexuals.

Dan did a perfect mix of calling a sin a sin without neglecting the primary message of the Gospel that is unconditional love. Even going so far as to say that given the choice of having a homosexual or a homophobe in the church, he'd choose the former. Rock and roll, brother.

After that they served communion (Woot!) and we were out.

I said it before and I'll say it again, Momentum rulez. God is sooo working in that place. I think the thing that stands out to me the most is that, if you get rid of all the videos and rock band, the people are just sincerely loving people who want to do God's work. They have tons of small groups they call Mo Groups that meet during the week and it's a huge part of their ministry.

Again, the only problem is that they are so far away! Pray that K-Town CoC will turn into something like this! Pray!

Prayerfully,

Revraham Wanderstein

Momentum YouTube Page

Immaculate Conception of St. Mary

Note: if you'd like some great music to listen to while you read, scroll down and hit play. I'll wait. . .

Nothing better than getting back to your roots. There's just something about familiarity that

makes you say "Aaaah, I'm home". This Sunday I got back to where your Reverend got his theological start, the Roman Catholic Church.

I've been wanting to stay local, so I went on over to Immaculate Conception (Catholic churches have the best names evah!) in Kenmore, located right across the street from Kenmore High School, your

reverends alma mater! This is the place where I had catechism, took my first confession, and my first communion way back in the day.

However, I think the last I was in there was for the always awesome IC Festival, where one can lose their money playing cards, shooting dice, and drinking beer, all on the top floor of the attached Catholic school. And this is why Catholics are so much cooler than Protestants!

I left the house (left my Bible at home, no need for one at the Catholic church. They have the misselette!) and got there with plenty of time to spare. The people there were friendly enough but if you're looking for people to introduce themselves to you or give you a free gift (Lighthouse, you're still the champ!), then keep looking. People are there to take their sacraments and get out. No time for milling about or fellowship, which is kind of sucky if you ask me (which you did by reading this).

So it's been a few years since I've been to mass and I have to be honest, I've forgotten some of the moves. When to sign the cross, when to kneel, and what some of the words are to the Nicene Creed and other call and repeat sections. As a vistor, especially if I was someone who has never been to church before, this would have been a total put off. Not to mention, does anyone really know why they're doing it? Or is it just some ritual that ya do cause that's what you're supposed to do? Hrm. . .

Worship was bleh. Yes. Bleh. First of all, they called out the number of the hymn you're supposed to be singing but the number they called out wasn't a page number and I couldn't seem to make the connection with the books that I had at my disposal (3 books were in the pew, mind you). So I just kind of stood there and hoped they sang one I knew (they did sing one I knew). With that, however, the band was pretty good and they were into it (they even had a tamborine! My favorite instrument!) but again, it sucked that I couldn't sing along.

The priests sermon (or as they call it, homily) was good for content but not in delivery. His tone was dry and he used, what I thought, were too many big theological terms that I guess he assumed everyone knew. The subject was the Trinity and how there is one God, consisting of three distinct persons but one essense. After he expounded on that for a few minutes, though, he switched up and talked about how as Christians, we're called to be apart of our communities and that we should be in the world but not of the world. Again, good stuff that could have been delivered a little better.

Before I render my final opinion, I want you to know that I am no Catholic hater, which some Protestants are. Sure, I have some problems with a few of their doctines but I give them props for being constant for almost 2,000 years. They've had their problems (Crusades, Inquisition) but they hold strong on other issues I'm passionate about (abortion, death penalty, etc.). Not to mention, these are the people that taught me my first bible stories and got me in on the ground floor (my favorite being when we re-enacted the Good Samaritan parable, and we all got to pick parts. Being 8 year old boys, we ALL wanted to be the bandits beat up on each other!)

With that, I wasn't too impressed with it. Not knowing "the moves", no fellowship, and poor worship all combine to make for a bad Sunday. I really wanted to like it but just couldn't get around those things.

Oh well, next week is another Sunday and another church. God is good.

Peace,

Rev.

Starving Jesus - book review

When one goes to Ye Olde Christian Book Store, there are lots of books. Some are step-by-step books on how to grow your faith, church, or wallet. Others make you feel good about yourself and help you get your "best life now". But every once in a while, there's a book that comes along and just kicks your faith squarely in the you-know-whats. Starving Jesus is that book.

Written by Craig Gross, founder of the XXX Church, and JR Mahon, the self-proclaimed Hollywood Pastor, they explore the reason why our churches are filled with the so-called "Sunday Christians" who are stuck on the pews and are afraid to get out and do something with their faith.

To put it mildly, this book changed my life, my outlook on my faith and how it should play out in my life. The part that I think of often is, when talking about what we should do to save the lost, and the answer given is "Anything short of sin should be the rule." Bladow.

Also, as the name suggests, they talk about their 40 day fast and their experience with it. Again, it is not a "how to fast" book with tips on how to "do it right" but more of story of their build up and experience with fasting. Remember that Jesus, as recorded in Matthew, states "When you fast..." not "If you fast..."

So if you're looking to get yourself kicked in the pants and get out and put your faith into action, look to this book for some awesome inspiration. The book is a light read and should only take a week to read through.

If you're not looking to get out there, I'd steer clear of this book. It might just make you feel guilty...

Word up!

Rev.