The House of the Lord

After last Sunday's 50 minute jaunt up to the east side of Cleveland and the week before up to Independence, I decided to stick close this Sunday. This is a church that I've been wanting to go to for some time. Oh yes! Bring on The House of the Lord!

The House of the Lord (THOTL) is what I guess would be called a "black" church.

Let me digress: I hate race. I hate the fact that people bring it up. I hate the fact that it's an issue. Can we just get to the point in the world that people are people? No matter where they're from, what color, what continent, we're all just people trying to figure it out? Trying to find out who God is what He has in store for me?

Okay, I'm done.

THOTL is located in southwest Akron, near Rolling Acres Mall (RIP) and Hawkins Plaza. The first thing you'll notice upon entering is that the people are very friendly. For a large church (I'd say about 500 or so in attendance), there were people walking around, shaking hands, and saying they were glad to see you. Wow. Personal touch is something that you don't see a lot of times at a big church. I felt very welcomed and at ease.

They opened with worship time and it was great. They had a good size band but it wasn't overbearing (see The Chapel in Green entry, and its super orchestra). The singers were amazing and it felt very sincere. People were waving their hands, singing aloud, and yes, there was some actual dancing in the aisles. Some brought their own tamborines. My only complaint is that they were lax in putting the words up on the big screen, so I really wasn't able to sing along. I'm all for extending the song out and letting it go but at least let me get the words down first. Honestly though, a small complaint for what was an overall awesome experience.

The preacher is a guy named (get ready for it) Bishop F. Josephus Johnson, II. Yes, it's a mouthful of a title but I think a guy with this much charisma needs a big title to hold him. He is one of the best preachers that I have ever heard speak. Serious, witty, and challenging, he brings out the Gospel message with fervor and sincerity. He has what would be described as the typical baptist preacher persona, however he doesn't come off as showy. I loved how he got the crowd into the message and challenged them to think about the lesson in their own lives.

His message came from Genesis 19:14-38. It tells the story of when God was about to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah (sound familiar? Momentum talked a little about this a couple of weeks ago). However, he focused on how Lot's wife looked back longingly for Sodom and was turned into a pillar of salt. You see, she didn't just glance back to get a look at the action, she looked back because she longed for the sinful, debaucherous life they had lived in the city. The lesson takes on full form when we read in the next section that her daughters get their father drunk so that they may "lay" with them. Oh. Snap.

The lesson: kids hear us talk and see our actions, more than they hear our lessons. When they see us longing for those "days of yore" when we were drunk and promiscuous, they're going to get the sense that if we could, we'd go back to that life. . . instead, we should set our gaze upon the present and look toward the future, not longing for what we once were but what can be through Christ. Man, I needed to hear that.

After the sermon was the offering. I have never seen an offering like this. Most churches kind of go through the offering quickly, not wanting to seem like the stereotypical money hungry church. Not these guys - they make an event of giving. He prayed for the offering, for the people giving it, for the people using it. Then he prayed for the financial situation in everyone lives, mentioning promotions, job hunts, peoples health, etc. While he prayed, people waved their offering envelopes in the air. Wowza. Offering time lasted about 15 minutes. But again, it didn't come off as cheesey or the stereotype - it was people being joyful givers.

Finally it was prayer time. They had everyone hold hands with the person next to him - normally, I'd be kind of creeped out by this but I was having such a good time, I was down for whatever. He was praying and then asked that we pray for the people we were holding hands with, and as a reminder, to go ahead and give their hand a squeeze so that we know. Ha! I'm squeezing a 50+ year old mans hand in church! But again, it was awesome! When it was over, we gave each other a hug and it was over.

I left this place with a renewed vision and pumped about going out and serving.

If things with Kenmore CoC don't work out, this would be the place for me to land for a while. I just love the style, attitude, and level of sincerity that I felt there. It's been a long time since I've felt moved physically by the Spirit. I highly recommend The House of the Lord.

Until next time,

The Rev.

Velocity Church

Since I've started doing my bloggin' and wanderin', I have to be honest, I haven't done much church workin'. I've just been sitting back, criticizing and talkin' smack but I haven't done much in the way of helping the situation.

Well last week at Momentum, they said they were helping a new church over on the east side of Cleveland get started and get moving. They needed volunteers. They needed a Reverend who was prone to wander. Well, what better way to kill two birds with one stone? I'd get to check out a new place and get my service on. Bring on Velocity!

The first challenge is distance. I live in southwest Akron (K-TOWN!). They are on the far east side of Cleveland. 55 minutes away according to Google maps. Oh, and the work starts at 7:30 AM. So the Rev was up at 6am to shower, shave, shinola and hit the road. Who knew the sun was up at 6am? Most certainly not me.

The new church is tucked way back in a neighborhood off of Mayfair Road and they meet in an old school (not old like creepy, Scooby Doo villian hangout old, but no longer a functioning school old). A daycare now owns the building and they rent from them. Again, just like Momentum, not an actual church building, and again, a great asset. The place has a nice gym that they use for the main worship and then use the fully stocked classrooms for their youth classes.

I got to work helping unload chairs, set up signs, and other miscellaneous tasks. Remember the drawback to not having a building? You regular readers should know! It's having to set up and tear down every single Sunday. It being 85 degrees at 7:30 in the morning makes this all the more fun. However, they had quite a few good workers, and as they old saying goes, many hands make for light work.

The guy I was working mostly with was named Scott Pugh, the preacher. He was a young-ish dude who is actually from my hometown area. He knew of both Southwest and Kenmore Church of Christ. A real top knotch guy who really had a heart for this place. His sermon was based on the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). A great sermon for Father's Day, as it shows how a good father can be.

Bonus! He said he knows the people that might be helping with the new plant in Kenmore Church of Christ and as far as he has heard, it's a done deal. Oh snap!

The worship style was very similar to Momentum, that is, they rocketh. Sounded great, played great songs, and just generally rocked the Casbah. And since I got there super early, I got to talk some of them and they are really cool people.

After the first service, I was up to help with the 3, 4, and 5 year old kids during the second service. Being a former youth leader, this was no problem. And the young lady I worked with, Stacy, was great.

With kids these little, you can't really have a big lesson. Tell them a little about Jesus and then play with them. Kids were fun and cool. Our only incident was the alleged theft of two quarters from one little boy. The accused didn't admit to the crime and we were left with an open case. I have devoted the rest of my life now to bringing down the accused!!! I will not rest until justice is served! . . . eh, not really. I'm too lazy.

Oh, and we got to play Duck Duck Goose. I love that game.

After that, I helped a little with putting back chairs, but there were so many people helping, I went ahead and slipped out the door and headed back to the A-K.

All in all, a great experience. It takes a special person and a certain mindset to be a part of a church plant. And after getting to spend some time with these people, I can already tell that this place is going to succeed. They are great folks.

I remembered how much I miss doing crazy church work and working with kids. Velocity, while only 11 weeks old, is a great church and if I have any readers on the east side of Cleveland (I doubt it!), I highly recommend it.

Verily Verily Yours,

Revvin' and Wanderin'

A Crude Interlude

The other day I was regailing some childhood memories with my friend, Noukay, and noticed that more-than-a-few of our childhood memories revolved around one particular smelly body function. Farting. Stories of our friend Tim farting so loud that it woke his mom up. Or of Noukay surprising his sister by letting one rip right near her face. And one that was so bad, the smell lingered for hours and we even gave it a name, Yankee Pudding. Aaah, the good old days.

Farting is the single most funny action that there ever is, was, or will be. Ever.

And I now pose this - people in the Bible farted. Yes, those stalwarts of faith, those pillars of the church, and those purveyor's of the Gospel message all at some point let out some foul scents at several points in their lives.

Most of Jesus' life is recorded in the Bible but not all of it. Not the mundane, day to day. Now if those 12 Apostles were anything like a group of guys hanging out today, I have to believe that there was more than one fart joke, several fingers pulled, and an SBD squeezed out during a sermon. James and John were brothers! I can only imagine how many times one let a juicy one out and blamed it on the other!

Did Adam and Eve fart? This may seem like an odd question to those of my non-Christian readers but to those of us in the faith, it could be dilemma. You see, we believe that God created Adam and Even perfect. No sickness, no aging, no defects. It was only until after they ate the apple (sinned against God) that they began to age and eventually die.

But the question is: while they were still perfect, did they play the butt trumpet? They were in a garden, so that means there were beans, right? Toot, Toot!

My unscientific, untheological answer is a resounding yes! Humor this good, this pure, this awesome could only come from God.

So next time you're taking things too seriously around the church or home, or if things seem to not be going your way, let one rip. Because on the day of Judgment, the only trumpets sounding might not be the ones the angels are playing.

Disgustingly,

Rev.

PS - poop in the Bible! Deurteronomy 23:12-13 "Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to revlieve yourself. As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hold and cover up your excrement."

Momentum Christian Church

There's no place like Momentum. There's no place like Momentum. There's no place like Momentum. . . Yeah, if you couldn't tell, I love this church.

To be honest, this isn't the first time I've been on the awesome ride that is Momentum Christian Church. I went there last summer when I was taking a hiatus from my regular church. And even then, I loved it. It's everything that church could be and more.

Well, let's take a break from my shameless compliments and get to the review.

This Sunday I took my cousin, Rob, with me. Knowing that Rob hasn't been to church in a while, I knew going here would knock his socks off. And since I know he's reading this, Rob is a big fat jerk. Ha ha! You know I'm playin', baby! I love ya!

I picked up Rob and we headed out on our 40 minute drive to Independence. Yes, it's in Independence. 40 minutes up I-77 from K-Town. This is why your Reverend has not given up his life and joined this church. Sigh. However, the church planting group that started them is the same one that might be taking over the church in Kenmore. Oh how often I pray for this every night! I also wish on a star and rub my magic genie lamp, both to no avail. Stick to prayer.

The first thing you notice about the church is their meeting place. They have no building but instead meet in the Cinemark. They rent out the place every Sunday morning and hold their service in one of the theatres. And yes, it is as awesome as it sounds. The benefits to not having a building are endless (no property to maintain, no one has emotional ties to the building, and all the other costs of owning a building). The downside being that you have to set up all your equipment every single Sunday. Oy. That could get old if you didn't have enough hands.

Upon entering, the first thing you'll notice is. . . the smell of popcorn. It's a movie theatre. The second thing you'll notice is FREE REFRESHMENTS! Cookies, bagels, donuts. Coffee, water, tea. They had it all. Too bad your Rev is trying to shed his belly and lose some weight. So now instead of complimenting you, I loathe you for tempting me, Momentum! I couldn't resist and had a cookie! Gah!! I'm such a failure!

After I wept bitterly for a few minutes over my failure, we headed in. The band was rocking out some Skynard, playing "Sweet Home Alabama". Their worship band is top knotch and rocks out. Band is great and the singers are terrific. Some might say that it's a little too much rocking, but for yours truly, it was the perfect mix of rockin' out and worshipin' out (not too much wallin' out, either).

One of things that they are known for is their multi-media. Every week they make a short video to go along with their message. And no, this isn't one of those cheeseball, Christian videos that you see that just copy secular media. They make genuinely funny stuff. Below is todays video:

Their preacher is a guy named Dan Smith, made famous by his parody video, Baby Got Book. This guy is good. His message came from Genesis 19, which is the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. A big part of his sermon touched on the oh-so-sensitive topic of homosexuality. However, Dan did it right and other Christians should take note. Let's be straight - homosexuality is a sin. But what most Christians forget is that it's one of many sins. Lying. Cheating on your spouse. Stealing. Blasphemy. All sins equal in "badness" to homosexuality. However, most Christians seem to hold a special level of sin in their hearts for homosexuals.

Dan did a perfect mix of calling a sin a sin without neglecting the primary message of the Gospel that is unconditional love. Even going so far as to say that given the choice of having a homosexual or a homophobe in the church, he'd choose the former. Rock and roll, brother.

After that they served communion (Woot!) and we were out.

I said it before and I'll say it again, Momentum rulez. God is sooo working in that place. I think the thing that stands out to me the most is that, if you get rid of all the videos and rock band, the people are just sincerely loving people who want to do God's work. They have tons of small groups they call Mo Groups that meet during the week and it's a huge part of their ministry.

Again, the only problem is that they are so far away! Pray that K-Town CoC will turn into something like this! Pray!

Prayerfully,

Revraham Wanderstein

Momentum YouTube Page

Immaculate Conception of St. Mary

Note: if you'd like some great music to listen to while you read, scroll down and hit play. I'll wait. . .

Nothing better than getting back to your roots. There's just something about familiarity that

makes you say "Aaaah, I'm home". This Sunday I got back to where your Reverend got his theological start, the Roman Catholic Church.

I've been wanting to stay local, so I went on over to Immaculate Conception (Catholic churches have the best names evah!) in Kenmore, located right across the street from Kenmore High School, your

reverends alma mater! This is the place where I had catechism, took my first confession, and my first communion way back in the day.

However, I think the last I was in there was for the always awesome IC Festival, where one can lose their money playing cards, shooting dice, and drinking beer, all on the top floor of the attached Catholic school. And this is why Catholics are so much cooler than Protestants!

I left the house (left my Bible at home, no need for one at the Catholic church. They have the misselette!) and got there with plenty of time to spare. The people there were friendly enough but if you're looking for people to introduce themselves to you or give you a free gift (Lighthouse, you're still the champ!), then keep looking. People are there to take their sacraments and get out. No time for milling about or fellowship, which is kind of sucky if you ask me (which you did by reading this).

So it's been a few years since I've been to mass and I have to be honest, I've forgotten some of the moves. When to sign the cross, when to kneel, and what some of the words are to the Nicene Creed and other call and repeat sections. As a vistor, especially if I was someone who has never been to church before, this would have been a total put off. Not to mention, does anyone really know why they're doing it? Or is it just some ritual that ya do cause that's what you're supposed to do? Hrm. . .

Worship was bleh. Yes. Bleh. First of all, they called out the number of the hymn you're supposed to be singing but the number they called out wasn't a page number and I couldn't seem to make the connection with the books that I had at my disposal (3 books were in the pew, mind you). So I just kind of stood there and hoped they sang one I knew (they did sing one I knew). With that, however, the band was pretty good and they were into it (they even had a tamborine! My favorite instrument!) but again, it sucked that I couldn't sing along.

The priests sermon (or as they call it, homily) was good for content but not in delivery. His tone was dry and he used, what I thought, were too many big theological terms that I guess he assumed everyone knew. The subject was the Trinity and how there is one God, consisting of three distinct persons but one essense. After he expounded on that for a few minutes, though, he switched up and talked about how as Christians, we're called to be apart of our communities and that we should be in the world but not of the world. Again, good stuff that could have been delivered a little better.

Before I render my final opinion, I want you to know that I am no Catholic hater, which some Protestants are. Sure, I have some problems with a few of their doctines but I give them props for being constant for almost 2,000 years. They've had their problems (Crusades, Inquisition) but they hold strong on other issues I'm passionate about (abortion, death penalty, etc.). Not to mention, these are the people that taught me my first bible stories and got me in on the ground floor (my favorite being when we re-enacted the Good Samaritan parable, and we all got to pick parts. Being 8 year old boys, we ALL wanted to be the bandits beat up on each other!)

With that, I wasn't too impressed with it. Not knowing "the moves", no fellowship, and poor worship all combine to make for a bad Sunday. I really wanted to like it but just couldn't get around those things.

Oh well, next week is another Sunday and another church. God is good.

Peace,

Rev.

Starving Jesus - book review

When one goes to Ye Olde Christian Book Store, there are lots of books. Some are step-by-step books on how to grow your faith, church, or wallet. Others make you feel good about yourself and help you get your "best life now". But every once in a while, there's a book that comes along and just kicks your faith squarely in the you-know-whats. Starving Jesus is that book.

Written by Craig Gross, founder of the XXX Church, and JR Mahon, the self-proclaimed Hollywood Pastor, they explore the reason why our churches are filled with the so-called "Sunday Christians" who are stuck on the pews and are afraid to get out and do something with their faith.

To put it mildly, this book changed my life, my outlook on my faith and how it should play out in my life. The part that I think of often is, when talking about what we should do to save the lost, and the answer given is "Anything short of sin should be the rule." Bladow.

Also, as the name suggests, they talk about their 40 day fast and their experience with it. Again, it is not a "how to fast" book with tips on how to "do it right" but more of story of their build up and experience with fasting. Remember that Jesus, as recorded in Matthew, states "When you fast..." not "If you fast..."

So if you're looking to get yourself kicked in the pants and get out and put your faith into action, look to this book for some awesome inspiration. The book is a light read and should only take a week to read through.

If you're not looking to get out there, I'd steer clear of this book. It might just make you feel guilty...

Word up!

Rev.